Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum update!

New email reads:

Hi all!

Please prepare your child's costume for the winter concert, as follows:

1. white long sleeves shirt
2. brown capri pants or black short pants may do
3. knee high white socks
4. red suspender - if he/she has any. If none, I have red cloth we can use.

As for the green hat, you don't need to worry about it. I'll provide it.

Please have it ready next week (December 8, 2008). I cannot guarantee your child will perform, it will all depend on his/her mood. As for now, we are practicing the song. Hopefully, all of them will at least come up on the stage. Thanks.

Mrs. A

Can you see the smile (of relief) on my face already? *aaaahhhhhhh*

to date

Six months.

It's been (almost) six months, everyone. Since this. You remember - the firing pistol? Wow. You don't even realize how much you've said until you look back, huh?

I love how life evolves, and finds a way to become the norm. I remember the days of marking calendars with individual meds and supplements she'd taken, balancing checkbooks like lunatics, sweating over what she could eat, and constantly being on the lookout for ANY sign of improvement. It's still all there of course, (all except the calendar fiasco, thank goodness) but so deeply etched in the fabric of our lives*, that we no longer see any of it as hard. It is just....life. :)

* please don't sue me for using your motto, Mr. Cotton Industry. It worked so well for the message I wanted to send. Thanks:)

Little Drummer Girl

I got an email the other day that said:

NBear may be one of my lead singers for the Christmas performance. Please make sure she practices the song. I have placed the CD copy and the lyrics in her backpack.

Mrs. A

WOW!

Looks like we'll have to fire up the camera and camcorder batteries for her first school Christmas concert! I made sure the Huz had the CD in his van so he could play it while driving NBear to school everyday. After all, she loooooves to belt out tunes! (Did you play it? Yes, I played it. Did she sing? No, she just listened to the song...)

That's it. I'm kicking into stage-mom mode. Bridezilla's got nuttin' on me! I'm just hoping and praying my oh-so-nervous-for-NBear self won't be too disappointed if it doesn't go as planned. Even if it doesn't (must not be negative, must not be negative), I will be there to hug and hold my Little Drummer Girl.

Please please please give me the strength and patience to put together a costume that looks like this. (Mrs. A's request. Not asking.) The Huz just said - Are you SURE that's what she wants? Isn't the drummer boy supposed to be a Jew?

Perhaps I misread something - or missed the word "Yodel" in the instructions somewhere?

help.

baby formula news

For those of you who give (or know people who give) your children baby formula - this is a must-read.

We were once fans of the Enfamil product mentioned in the article, and used it for all three of the girls. That is, until we decided to go organic and switched SBear to this.

Thank goodness. I hate it when they say "trace amounts" of a BAD thing were in the product! Trace amounts 3 or 4 times a day no longer equates to trace.

Idiots.

Just be careful, okay?

dancing bananas, and Cinderella rain

Sorry - no NBear photo for today's post (I'm downstairs on the laptop, and her fabulous files are in the office upstairs :( --- in case you were missing her interesting "eye" for beauty!

So - dancing bananas, huh? We came home from the annual family Turkey Feast last night, got into our PJs, and just as we settled into bed (at least tried to) NBear went up to the Huz and said she was hungry.

Being that he was ready to pass out (what's that chemical in turkey meat again?), his quick fix was to tell her to go downstairs and grab a banana for herself. This is the part when MBear also decides she is hungry, and opts for the same "treat". I already mentioned we were ready to PASS OUT, right?

NBear comes back into our room, two "naked" bananas in her hand - she has this odd thing with bananas and their peels, and refuses to eat one unless the ENTIRE peel is off! (Utterly frustrating because Mommy doesn't like dealing with sticky-hands) Then, just as she's ready to hand one over to NBear, she takes one more look at them, rocks her hand back and forth and says "Dancing Bananas!" *enter the sound of roaring adult laughter, and the need to sleep is forgotten for a few more minutes:) *

Now, for the Cinderella rain deal - does anyone know what the HECK that is? My poor NBear was sobbing like crazy today at Safeway, and kept telling me that she wanted "Cinderella rain, Cinderella rain, please - it IS Cinderella rain, mommy!!!" I was extremely baffled. I tried to retrace our steps (only in my head, lest we ran into this infamous Cinderella rain, and it cost more than I'd like!) because I knew it was something in the store that had caught her eye.

Alas, I left the store sans magical rain, with a broken-hearted angel clinging to the side of my grocery cart. (The fact that I was able to complete my shopping list was a miracle in itself!) I must admit, though - she didn't fall apart like I feared she would. Sure, she cried...and cried...and cried, but I realized that she had learned how to do one thing: calm herself down on her own. It may have been a one-time incident, (I'm praying it's not) but it was a wonderful moment. When we shop, she's usually not upset to the point of crying, so I definitely got a bit nervous when she broke down!

*breathing my well-awaited sign of relief* :)

Happy Friday everyone!

Thoughts on Thanks

My name is NBear, and five years ago, my parents got the bad news that I had autism. That's kind of funny, considering I don't feel any different from anyone else, and I most certainly don't look any different - in fact, I feel like a regular, energetic (Mommy and Daddy call it something like "hyper"?) seven year-old!

I've been noticing all the thanks people have been talking about today, so I thought I'd make a list of my own!

I, NBear, am wholeheartedly thankful for:

*

my little sisters MBear and SBear - but mostly MBear (at least at this age, because SBear isn't as much fun when I want to play run-around-and-chase-me. She does this funny crawling thing that takes waaaayyyy too long!)...mostly MBear, because she takes the time to have conversations with me, and doesn't seem to mind when they get repetitive.

*the DVD player and remote! I know this drives everyone mad, but I absolutely LOVE watching scenes over and over again - how can they not see the beauty in that?

*the people who've created YUMMY gluten-free, dairy-free, and egg-free snacks for my palate's pleasure -- there are too many to mention!

*my father, who has searched HIGH and LOW for those snacks, and my mother who blogs for me :)

*my 2nd grade teacher - who is a breath of fresh air because she really does have the experience and care that my parents have been looking for:)

*my awesome speech therapist, whom I have been reunited with! (I first met her when I was two, when my parents thought all I had was a speech impediment - it was she who, with a heavy heart, said that they should look at "the possibility of something else" because I was "exhibiting behaviors that were common with kids on the autism spectrum". So basically, she set us all on the right track to my success!

*Pixar studios - without whom I wouldn't have gotten to know my most favorite movie characters of all time: WOODY and JESSIE. (Nemo comes a close second, though)

*and finally, Mr. Walt Disney - for creating a world where even kids like me can feel magical. *sigh* (Plus, it helps that you do this for us! A million thanks!)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everybody ~ *hugs*

Untitled....sort of!

(pic by NBear - she "stole" my camera from its safe nest in our bookshelf, and when I found it, there were a whole bunch of pics she had taken *which now explains the nonstop giggling I heard*! So - expect a-pic-a-post for your entertainment:)

Alright - this entry is inspired by this post.

It's funny how life works, isn't it? Sometimes you see signs, and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you believe, and some times - well, you wish you didn't. Sometimes you find perfect examples of how karma weaves its magical self into your life, and then there are the times when...you can't find that valuable nano-hint to answer your "why me?" quip. Why?Why?Why?

Perhaps the most poignant part of my being a parent of an autistic child, is knowing that NBear was already written in my life plan. I am a Catholic, yes, but a good Catholic? a church-crazed Catholic? a 100% devout Catholic?...well, let's just say I'm not quite there yet. BUT - that still doesn't stop me from believing that He (HE!) knew this would come. HA! They say He never gives you what you can't handle? Are they serious? What sane person can handle crying until there is no more water running through their body? Now, I can. What person can stand seeing their child struggle to understand the world outside their own? Now, I can. What kind of idiot thinks an all-loving, all-powerful being could PLAN such a devastating fate for a person?

Now, I do.

Oddly enough, my mother was the magic piece to this puzzle. She told me that her co-worker finally (and I hope lovingly) said to her, "Why do you keep asking why YOU? Who do you think "deserves" an autistic grandchild then? Are you willing to point out someone else who should have gotten NBear?" ....and then, like Eli Stone, I remember hearing the choir in my head belt out the Halleluiah chorus, and the smoke finally cleared: she is MINE for a reason. She is OURS for a reason! :)

There were no "impending signs" that I would have an autistic child, and during my pregnancy I didn't have a lick of caffeine or sushi (which were major withdrawals, and more than I can say for the other two!) - but, there she was:) I'm guessing God knows us so well, He'd know who'd read the signs a lot better - so obviously, that wasn't me! *lol*

One thing's for sure: I'm glad to know that my family and I are not alone, and that the love and support we feel from all of you is something we are thankful for - not just on Turkey days, but for a lifetime!

Hmmmmm......having NBear = finding others who will help and understand, and be the proof that there is still good in this world.


I think I hear the choir again ;)