A few months ago, I had a visit from a childhood friend whose son had also been diagnosed with autism. He's three, and has had / is currently receiving early intervention services (thanks to his diligent parents).
In the course of our catching up, she said she was still concerned because he walks off-balance, and I wasn't sure how to react to that - the reason being, it's not exactly a classic symptom our kids have.
So what do I do after she tells me that they're going to bring him back to his pediatrician for further evaluation? The...dumbest...thing...possible. I cringe just thinking about how utterly and incredibly idiotic I was to think I was reassuring her! *kicking myself*
I told her that "there could be nothing worse than getting a diagnosis of autism, so you will definitely be okay!" Well, there WAS something worse. Much worse. This.
My lesson is learned. I must remember that the world does not revolve around my kid's issues. I must remember that in this world, one cannot close oneself in a bubble of egocentricity because it prevents an empathy for parents who also suffer dealing with other conditions. In this world, one can't heal hearts by starting with the words "Well at least..." or "It can't be any worse than..." because a parent whose child is not considered "typical" could very well care less.
But most importantly, I must remember to pray, to love, to pray, to beg, to cry, to pray, to support, to educate others.....not just for MY issues, but for THEIRS as well, because the hard truth here is - we are all in this together. All of us.
Please accept this big hug, and this apology from the DEPTH of my heart.
I am truly sorry.
Truly.
3 comments:
Oh, nooo... I'm so sorry.
At least you did refer her to the pediatrician and they know. Please stop kicking yourself as there is really no way you could have known. :[
This is such a great post! I've done the same thing and still feel AWFUL about it. (I once told a woman whose kid is an Aspie that Asperger's is what all the parents of kids who have garden variety autism wish that their kids had. I too did it with the intention of trying to make her feel better about her situation but in hindsight realized that this was more about me than her.) The good news is that you "get it" and now are spreading the word to everyone else. Thanks for the silver lining!
You know, I often remind myself that as terrible as my situation is, having a son with autism,...is that we must be grateful because yes, things could actually be worse. When my second son came along and we were in the throws of autism recovery, he was showing some warning signs for cystic fibrosis. I thought I simply could not handle that. Thankfully, he does not have that. I hope that God blesses this family and that child.
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