Untitled....sort of!

(pic by NBear - she "stole" my camera from its safe nest in our bookshelf, and when I found it, there were a whole bunch of pics she had taken *which now explains the nonstop giggling I heard*! So - expect a-pic-a-post for your entertainment:)

Alright - this entry is inspired by this post.

It's funny how life works, isn't it? Sometimes you see signs, and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you believe, and some times - well, you wish you didn't. Sometimes you find perfect examples of how karma weaves its magical self into your life, and then there are the times when...you can't find that valuable nano-hint to answer your "why me?" quip. Why?Why?Why?

Perhaps the most poignant part of my being a parent of an autistic child, is knowing that NBear was already written in my life plan. I am a Catholic, yes, but a good Catholic? a church-crazed Catholic? a 100% devout Catholic?...well, let's just say I'm not quite there yet. BUT - that still doesn't stop me from believing that He (HE!) knew this would come. HA! They say He never gives you what you can't handle? Are they serious? What sane person can handle crying until there is no more water running through their body? Now, I can. What person can stand seeing their child struggle to understand the world outside their own? Now, I can. What kind of idiot thinks an all-loving, all-powerful being could PLAN such a devastating fate for a person?

Now, I do.

Oddly enough, my mother was the magic piece to this puzzle. She told me that her co-worker finally (and I hope lovingly) said to her, "Why do you keep asking why YOU? Who do you think "deserves" an autistic grandchild then? Are you willing to point out someone else who should have gotten NBear?" ....and then, like Eli Stone, I remember hearing the choir in my head belt out the Halleluiah chorus, and the smoke finally cleared: she is MINE for a reason. She is OURS for a reason! :)

There were no "impending signs" that I would have an autistic child, and during my pregnancy I didn't have a lick of caffeine or sushi (which were major withdrawals, and more than I can say for the other two!) - but, there she was:) I'm guessing God knows us so well, He'd know who'd read the signs a lot better - so obviously, that wasn't me! *lol*

One thing's for sure: I'm glad to know that my family and I are not alone, and that the love and support we feel from all of you is something we are thankful for - not just on Turkey days, but for a lifetime!

Hmmmmm......having NBear = finding others who will help and understand, and be the proof that there is still good in this world.


I think I hear the choir again ;)