Auld Lang Syne

(Did I even spell that right?) LOL!

Hello everyone :) NBear is fine, no worries. Mommy, however, is beyond exhausted and buzy (busy + lazy) - as evidenced by the lack of updates on my wonderful blog.

How I have missed blogging about my wonderful adventures with the NBear (aka "Silly Goose"). But alas, the sounds of just-woke-up-from-my-nap-and-I-am-grouchy-and-crying squeals from my little SBear are my cue to stop here.

...for now.

Happy New Year, everyone!

The Great Eight

Yes, I'm still here! Been awful at posting lately (my fault entirely!), but today was a special day: NBear has turned EIGHT :)

EIGHT! Wow - she's almost......TEN. Really, right?

Our to-do list went like this:

1) Wish NBear a Happy Birthday and give her a morning birthday hug.....check!

2) Go to her school and tell her teacher that today was her birthday (teacher gave her a HUGE toy mic, which she loved)..hang out for a bit......check!

3) Make the traditional trek to Chuck E. Cheese's so she could go to her favorite sllliiiiiiddddeee...check!

4) Allow her to choose a toy from favorite-store-in-the-world, Target......check! (thanks for the Bratz cowgirl doll, Auntie Cat:)

5) Smile and thank God for another year of happiness, and the daily meaningful lessons she continues to teach us............double-check!

Happy birthday my big girl, my love, my NBear. Muuuuuuuuah *xoxoxoxox*

Enhansa - wow!

Have you guys seen this?
How long have I been under a rock?
I happened to be perusing the ourkidsasd.com website (finally) - my ultimate goal being to purchase NBear's precious AFP tablets and Trace Minerals (teeth-grinding is at an all-time high, and we really saw results when she was taking those), when...

THIS caught my eye.

Faster than Paris Hilton could produce another pout, I told the Huz via email (and SHOUTmail...and yup, it's what you think!) about the link.

I really, really, really, want to try it out.

Has anyone else?

She came home from school....

...and said her head hurt. Of course the first thing the Huz and I do was to ask her HOW and WHERE she got hurt (she's been really, really good about telling us those details - with enough patience and prompting), so it was a bit confusing when she simply said, "My head hurts, I'm sick - I need my doctor." Note: she's been saying the doctor thing for a few weeks now, since the cold and coughing deal's been circulating throughout our household!

But this was different. The Huz realized it first when he said he thought she had a headache, and quickly administered a dose of children's motrin for our poor, pained, and complaining NBear. :(

My heart sank when I noticed that her headache showed all the signs of a migraine in the making - a genetic flaw she unfortunately couldn't help but inherit: she was stripping her uniform off (heat often triggers my episodes) and wanted to get into a super-thin sundress, she refused to stay in her brightly-lit room (opting instead for mommy and daddy's dimmer retreat), and - perhaps the most obvious clue to the cause of her suffering - she lay flat on her face and buried herself underneath our quilt. As all migraine sufferers know, LIGHT is the enemy when our heads are pounding. She cried for a good 10 minutes after that, and headed to the bathroom to throw up, and then was able to sleep for a bit.

The Huz was beside himself. (My poor NBear! She's just a kid. Why does she have to have so many things against her?) To which I replied: Well, she does have one thing to her advantage! (What?)...US! *smiling* I mean, you're looking at one of the MIGRAINE experts in the world, honey! I know how to make her feel better. *I mean, what do they say you do when life gives you lemons, right?*

Fortunately, her episode was short-lived. Whew! The Huz went to check on her a few hours later and she had not only emerged from her nap much happier, but greeted him with this wonderful group of sentences: "I feel better. Thanks Dad! You're the BEST!"

No, NBear....YOU are:)

Isn't he supposed to be cute and fuzzy?

Dear *** Mall Easter Bunny,

Oh boy. I really don't know where to start.

I am SO VERY sorry for the cold reception you received from my three (otherwise fun-filled and friendly) daughters during their photo session with you today. The entire event took them COMPLETELY by surprise, as I'm sure you were able to tell from their rather drab garb. *I made a mental note to myself to remember your schedule by HEART next year, so as to avoid last-minute closet raids which result in photos that look more like kaleidescopes, than keepsakes.* Alas, it was all mommy's fault.

NBear's refusal to sit by your side was not meant to be an insult. She was simply wondering why you happened to be brown. You see, she always "knew" that the Easter Bunny was white with a pink nose and a puffy tail -- you were, err...well...different. You had gloves on. It was a bit freaky for her. Thank you for allowing her to stare you down for a good minute before she decided to sit as.far.away.from.you. as possible. *clearing throat*.....Moving on...

Yes, MBEar has severe mood swings. While she was waiting in line for her photo op, she was unbelieveably excited and happy! After all, this was to be her FIRST Spring picture with the infamous buck-toothed Easter hero :) I really don't know what happened in the 5 seconds it took for her to go from the front of the line, to the side of your bench - but wow. Whatever it was, really did a number on her mood. I'm sure it wasn't your fault....well, alright - alright! Don't feel bad, but she thought you'd be a little...smaller. And cuter.

Lastly, I must apologize for my littlest angel SBear. The SECOND she got a good look at you, her eyes became as wide as Mr. Bean's and (as she stared at me) she worriedly uttered the word "DOG!" In fact, I think she may have even said it twice before I mercilessly plopped her down on your coarse, carpet-like lap.

It took the photographer girl TWO shots before we called it a day. I'm so glad she had a puppet handy! It certainly helped to get their attention away from...well, you. *nervous laugh* Ultimately, we had our pic a full second before Sophie was about to do a full-on cry. *whew* Not bad, huh?

Perhaps next year, after you've had a makeover (don't they have Extreme Hare-overs somewhere?), it will be a much better experience for ALL of you. Until then, happy hoppin!

Sincerely,
Mommy Bear
p.s. My brother said you reminded him of Chewbacca.

yes, there can. :(

A few months ago, I had a visit from a childhood friend whose son had also been diagnosed with autism. He's three, and has had / is currently receiving early intervention services (thanks to his diligent parents).

In the course of our catching up, she said she was still concerned because he walks off-balance, and I wasn't sure how to react to that - the reason being, it's not exactly a classic symptom our kids have.

So what do I do after she tells me that they're going to bring him back to his pediatrician for further evaluation? The...dumbest...thing...possible. I cringe just thinking about how utterly and incredibly idiotic I was to think I was reassuring her! *kicking myself*

I told her that "there could be nothing worse than getting a diagnosis of autism, so you will definitely be okay!" Well, there WAS something worse. Much worse. This.

My lesson is learned. I must remember that the world does not revolve around my kid's issues. I must remember that in this world, one cannot close oneself in a bubble of egocentricity because it prevents an empathy for parents who also suffer dealing with other conditions. In this world, one can't heal hearts by starting with the words "Well at least..." or "It can't be any worse than..." because a parent whose child is not considered "typical" could very well care less.

But most importantly, I must remember to pray, to love, to pray, to beg, to cry, to pray, to support, to educate others.....not just for MY issues, but for THEIRS as well, because the hard truth here is - we are all in this together. All of us.

Please accept this big hug, and this apology from the DEPTH of my heart.
I am truly sorry.
Truly.

Bowling, Birthdays, and Back-thens...

We decided to make it a Sunday FUN day for the fam, so the Huz thought it was time we dusted off our bowling bags, and head for the alleys! The last time we had gone, just a few months ago, NBear did a GREAT job! Seriously, it was nice to see her (although she did cover her ears every time the ball would inch near the pins - like she was bracing herself for an explosive collision) go up there and hurl her ball onto the wooden floor. LOL! I really do think that bowling is such good practice for our A-club kids, in that it helps with depth-perception practice (you know what I mean), and focus. Not to mention turn-taking:)

Unfortunately, we didn't have a camera handy (and you can forget about us taking pics with our phones and uploading them. Sounds just as easy as building a nuclear fusion machine!). Too bad! It would have caught the funny moments she had swinging the ball a good 5-7 times before deciding she wanted one of us to help her with the "letting go" part. She actually held people up because she would take SO long to let the ball go! *frustrating but funny!* After a few practice runs, though - I had my bowler back. This time it was even better: no more ear covering, and she remained focused on the ball as it made its painfully SLOW trip down the slippery road. Yeah, Mommy! I did it! I did it! :)

We celebrated her 3rd birthday party at the same bowling alley.
A few months after these photos were taken, she was officially diagnosed with autism.

I love this picture - I had just woken her up from a long nap, and she was not amused. Despite the beautiful braids and daddy's "Look at the camera!" requests, it was very difficult to get my future photographer to see the sense in needing to do such a simple task as...looking.

...but we never gave up, never stopped treating her like a regular kid, and the Huz took her up to the magical aisle for the FIRST time that day.
He gave her the ball, and they held on together...
...and even though (at that time) she didn't respond to the thrill of the moment, didn't smile when we all cheered her on, didn't seem to understand the happiness that swirled around the celebration of another year of her life, or didn't interact with her confused peers,

...she was still able to experience rolling the ball down the alley, and got a HUGE hug from the person who would - four years later - be the same one giving her DOUBLE HIGH-FIVES for scoring a 56. :)
I was right there with him!

good--bad days

Thank you, HopeFaithBelieve, for this - another story of yet another child whose life (we all hope) will one day be our child's.

Or at least, I do. :)

It's funny because just now I asked the Huz, "Honey - when NBear has her BAD days - are they GOOD--BAD days?" I laugh just seeing myself type that up, knowing how ridiculous that may look to anyone else. RIDICULOUS! It's either good or bad, right? Black or white? Hot and Cold? Yes and No? In and Out?...oh wait - too much Katy Perry does not a good blogger make! (NBear LOVES that song to death, by the way).

The Huz replies by telling me that she can at least verbalize what she wants now (I know), as opposed to being non-verbal (I know). She knows what she wants, and how to express that (I know), and for that we should be thankful (I am). *sigh* When my friends ask me how she's doing now that she's pretty much off her regular biomeds routine, I answer with a very honest, "I don't notice too much of a difference - I mean, she's still doing fine!" - and then I need to step back and look at the bigger picture: can she be doing BETTER? Did we make a mistake and pull her out too early? It is nerve-wracking indeed.

My gut tells me that we need to wait to replenish our funds first, before plunging back into another DAN! session. But, is it doing her any good?

THAT - is what kills me. :( Bummer.

March already?

*My how time flies*

I'm currently enduring an NBear not-so-hot moment. *sigh*

What would you do if your child decides to strap on her hot-pink in-line skates, play roller skating rink in the kitchen (which is hardly what we would call spacious), all the while JUMPING repeatedly (though impressive, quite irksome when Mommybear is trying to suppress an impending migraine), and "crashing" herself into the lower cabinets as she zooms along?

Oh - I forgot. Add the following to this scenario: She's been doing this for the past 20 or so minutes, all the while adding her notorious TV talk and endless stream of yellswhinesscreamsyellsyipeeswhoaswhines. *I will not scream, I will not scream, I will not scream....*

My choices?
1) Give in and scream.
2) Rip the skates off her feet myself.
3) Take my anger out on the real root of this problem: The Huz - who gave her the skates in the FIRST place!

............I'm so glad writing soothes me.
...and that my laptop was here.

Sorry *pout*. Just one of those darn days - err, nights.

Ashes to ashes, dust to BUST!

Aaahhh...Ash Wednesday - the beginning of the Catholic community's Lenten season. It marks a period of selfless sacrifice (*sob* Do I REALLY have to give up my coffee? How about I give up Oreo cookies instead? You haven't had an Oreo since you were in the 5th grade! That's not selfless enough!), courageous fasting (must....ignore...smell...of...juicy...burger...), and -of course - the humbling ceremonial rite in which the ashes are placed on our eager foreheads.

Or, in NBear's case - NOT SO eager.

I don't want STAMP on forehead! No Mommy! No daddy! No stamp on forehead anymore! NO!
[That was BEFORE the ashes]

I want take off! *sobbing* No STAMP on forehead! Noooooo! *sob* I want take off!
[...and, after.]

Yup. Need I also mention that the second she was face-to-face with Father Dan and he was ready to place his blackened finger on her face, she (very politely) said "No thank you, sir!" I didn't get a chance to see his reaction, though - but the sigh the Huz let out behind me (we sandwich the kids whenever we have to line up for anything. Great strategy to prevent runaways) was enough to convince me that Father was probably NOT impressed.

Hey - at least she followed directions and didn't rub it off when the Huz told her not to. PLUS, she allowed me a rare photo-op, despite the teary evidence.

Of course, the smile didn't last very long so MBear compensated. (Who else? She looked at the ebony smear like it was the Hope Diamond in tattoo form!)

Well, at least our first-time ash-ee was all smiles!

Whaaaa...???

*photo - NBear with Kimo in Guam, September 2008*

She LOVES animals!

Can everyone see this?

Yup - I'm a facebook fan...atic, but I happened upon this "Cure Autism Cause" page thru (through) a cousin's invitation.

I didn't realize there was a whole community out there of people who did NOT think ASD conditions should be cured! I feel like I've discovered a lost civilization of sorts:

Two reasons why this cause is horrible.

Post #1
1. There is nothing wrong with being autistic. 2. The most talented and intellectual people on earth are on the autistic spectrum. p.s. A group for awareness and advocacy would be great. Curing it is not the answer.


Post #2
i agree

Post #3
Wow I never saw it that way!! That is so true! My brother has a child whom is autistic....

Post #4
I agree it should not be 'cured'. Recent research has discovered that those with autistic spectrum disorders actually have more highly developed brain columns and have faster firing neurons than a 'normal' brain. Similar to Savants, ASD appears to over-ride primal instincts and the brain begins to work more like a computer. Children with ASD are highly intelligent - they just need more help with being able to express their thoughts as they can apprear random, when they just need channelling.

Post #5
Not to mention that autistic people have just as much of potential to be happy as anyone else. The people complaining are the family members who consider their autistic sons/daughters or siblings a "burden." Someone with cancer or aids would be more than happy to have a cure, but would an autistic person really want to change who they are?


Post #6
no they wouldn't - if you went to China, you'd learn to communicate in Chinese, France, you learn French - how about the so called "normies" learn to communicate autistically, and learn to develop their other senses other than just flap their gums a while....how many english speaking people use the language, and don't understand what they are saying in the first place!!! LOLhave the potential to be happy - they exceed most people with their daily gratitude in the first place... my 21 yo daughter says she has no desire to change because she doesn't know how to be anything but autistic....who has the problem here???

Post #7
Okay my autistic son is gifted, very bright, yadda, yadda. However, I have friends with AS children who are severe/profound in their disabilities - and they want a CURE.There are two sides of every argument.


Post #8
My son is PDD NOS, he behaves 'normally' in most things, now, after getting him much Occupational and Speech Therapy. But when his allergies flare up, his brain doesn't work the same and his PDD NOS becomes very obvious and the typical behaviors are present. When you get a 'cure' it doesn't mean it has to go away. I want the research to provide a better understanding of what happens, so when the communication breaks don't happen. The fits and inconsolable moments are rare. Let them flourish without some of the negative aspects that are associated with it.My son is not a burden.

Post #9
Okay, if you don't want to "cure" autism-spectrum, how about reaching a level of knowledge where it's possible for autism-spectrum kids to have what we laughingly call "normal" lives, including the ability to form friendships and interact with other people on both one's own and the other person's level? And the ability to deal with changes without having a meltdown?--Phil, parent of an Asperger's Disorder suffer-er

Post #10
I am a behavioral therapist who works with ASD kids, those of you who think that a cure is a bad thing have obviously never been close to someone who is so severly imparied by this disorder that they can not communicate to you when they are feeling hungry, sad or sick.

...but, to be quite frank - I don't GET these people (the ones who are anti-cure)!

Not.At.All.

What I wouldn't do to make my princess better. :)

Thanks, RMS!

Childhood friend and NBear-godparent RMS sent me this short but sweet (and significant) link:

I little more light was added to the end of MY tunnel, I tell ya....


*Hope they win! crossing fingers like crazy!*

Today

*photo taken on her 7th birthday this past June, at her cousin's house (she had just learned how to appreciate goggles!)*

Today -

1) MamaBear (my alter-ego, when MommyBear is not as relaxed as she should be!) took half a day off of work to go to NBear's annual IEP.

2) MamaBear and the Huz found out that NBear has met many of the academic goals that her IEP had stated. *yeah*...although we heard the usual, "She is great at reading, BUT needs work with comprehension!" (So do my 4th graders....I thought to myself...)

3) We reiterated the need to keep her on a GFCF diet, and that she could not indulge in the same snacks her other classmates had, if they contained the dreaded ingredients. This was the part I hated because we had to bring up the whole biomeds program, since her principal and BMT supervisor were there - (You know, the Jenny McCarthy story? Oh, I see you're not familiar with it. Well, it is OUTSIDE the umbrella of the typical way people "treat" autism, and it involves believing that your child can make huge gains - which we have definitely seen - with supplements and chelation.......)

Let me just tell you, that no matter how convinced you are that you know what's best for your child, you will always feel like you're saying the wrong thing when you get nods and confused stares in return.

Oh well. :)

4) We learned that she still had her fits during mainstreaming, and would sometimes go to the bathroom and dilly-dally in the hallway to avoid having to do the work that was assigned! Needless to say, the Huz meekly added "I think she got that from me..."

5) I smiled to myself at how far she has come.

6) I thought it'd be nice to share that with you:)

....nite.

Three things:

Because I'm in a Lovely Listing (otherwise known as Energetically Enumerating) mood, here goes:

1. Having had NBear on biomeds under the care of one Dr. Mielke, it's become easy for us to see when a yeast overgrowth is occurring. (3 things to remember, as per Dr. Mielke - stimmy, silly, spacey) So, it looks like we'll be following what Jenny put in her book - To remove Evan's candida, we did start him out on a prescription of Diflucan but after a few weeks, I switched him to a natural supplement that did the same thing. It is called ThreeLac, and if you Google it, you will find many places that carry it. (page 200, Louder than Words)

2. We went to my mom's apartment yesterday, and - for the first time EVER - we both noticed that NBear had NOT once rewound the Blues Clues video she was watching. (Mind you - this is her routine as soon as she enters the door: say hi to grandma, rush to the TV and VCR *yes, VCR - remember those?*, pop in the video, and rewind certain scenes numerous times until we leave.) It was a good day!

3. This post was beautiful. It features a teenage orator named Soeren Palumbo, taken during a speech he makes during (I'm assuming) a student body assembly. He doesn't talk about autism specifically, but about disabilities as a whole - and how the world (as we know) can be a cruel, unforgiving place. I won't tell you anything more, in hopes that you will watch it in its entirety. Don't let the shaky camera in the beginning turn you off to the rest of the video!

What are YOUR three things? :)

Bedtime stories :)

And now, starring in their FIRST video on this blog - I present to you, the lovely MBear and NBear!

Enjoy :)

Hair today, gone tomorrow!

Serves us right for thinking we could leave the girls alone downstairs for a bit!

Just a few minutes ago, I was jolted out of my seat (here, at the computer) by the sound of NBear's footsteps running up the stairs, and her squealing voice uttering these words:

Mommy --- Daddy! Is MBear! Is MBear is haircut! Zzzizzors!

I grabbed SBear in my arms, ran to the door (at the same time saying "Whaaat!??" while the Huz - who obviously heard the message - also made his way toward me. We met at the top of the stairs, both groaning the words "Oh no...oh my gawd....oooohhhhhh" and dreading having to catch sight of our daughter's new 'do.

I don't know what visual Huz had prepared for himself, but I had images of the movie "Powder" in mine. Then, the inevitable onslaught of images came: Yul Brynner in "The King and I"...Gordon from Sesame Street...Caillou....even Milla Jovovich in "The Fifth Element"....you get my point.

* The bad news --MBear had indeed chopped off a significant amount (no photos taken - I don't want to remember how angry I was at her!) of her tresses. The evidence was all over the carpet and on their play slide! No - I do NOT want to know how the heck chunks of her hair got on the slide!

* The good news -- the part she chopped off was close enough to her bangs, they simply looked like a "layered" addition to her look. (Or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better? The Huz certainly won't agree with the Layered-look theory because he said "See? Look at you now! You look so funny!") sigh.

*The BEST news -- *just in case you missed it in the beginning!* YES! NBear actually told us what had happened! (She's also been good about telling us when one of her siblings has an accident, but "poopoo" is much easier to explain in one word than when somebody cuts their own hair off). The other neat thing happened when I was making my way down the stairs. I guess she sensed the angst and anger building up inside Mommy Bear because she quickly turned my face towards hers and said something like:

NBear GOOD GIRL! I love you, Mommy! (I love you, too) MBear is barbershop!

...and then when I acknowledged what she had said, That's right, honey - you are a good girl! Thanks for telling us, and for not cutting your hair, she gave me a *thumbs up*! :) HAHA!

Talk about knowing how to save her behind, huh?

I leave you now with another photo from NBear's gallery. I'll call this - MBear, before the Z-mishap. Enjoy.

Movies and Dogs and Hotels oh my!

Gotta love LM! thank you, thank you, thank you...

Last night was the first time I went to the movies with NBear without the Huz.

Yes, I was pretty nervous, but when LM suggested that we watch a movie with her and super-duper cutie daughter J (with MBear in tow, of course), I practically leaped at the chance to be able to say these words to myself: "Yes, NBear went to the movies with a friend! She had a great time, and - oh my gosh - it was an official kiddie outing!"

Of course, the night did not begin so well *lol*. After the Huz picked her up from her social group at school, I told her about the movie plans and hyped it up as much as I could (Come on, Nbear! Yeah! We're going to watch a movie ..NO MOVIES, MAMA! NO MOVIE ANYMORE...so you have to change your clothes, ok?) She ran upstairs excitedly, and just as I was about to claim victory, Huz says, "She just changed into her pajamas." My smile disappeared.

I don't know how I managed it (perhaps she saw MBear dressed and ready to go?) but she later agreed to put on movie-appropriate garb, and with LM and sweetie-J in our van, we headed to the theater to watch this. Woof.

*Yes, she covered her ears and closed her eyes for a few of the movie scenes -

*Yes, she made nonsensical noises and uttered some"tv talk" throughout the show -

*Yes, she echoed some of the scenes' lines when the characters would say them (Friday? Where are you?...Friday? Where are you????)

* read every...single....word (or attempted to read) shown in the movie - OUT LOUD.

BUT - YES, she also...

* made some conversation with the ticket person (Hi! How are you?)

* attempted to pay for mommy's popcorn with her movie ticket (Here you go! *holding ticket up to the confused popcorn-scooping man)

* had many "conversational" moments with LM and J

* very obviously enjoyed herself :)

Mommy Bear is happy. Very, very happy:)

Here's to your first movie night "playdate", sweetheart *big hug*!

I love love love love love you *muah*

Note: Plus, it didn't hurt that there were 3 kids in the theater screaming their lungs out. It certainly made me feel so much better. HAHAHAHA!

What if...

Thanks, Ginger - for this wonderful post-to-a-post, on your blog :)

Funny how we're also learning about multiple perspectives in my classroom!

Eye-opening, indeed. I'm hoping a TON of people have read it.

*side note*
Sorry for not having an NBear original pic to post - been blogging from work (after school!) because I know I won't have time at home....I wonder why? *lol*

...and you are? (said David Spade-ishly)

I am so very lucky to have great friend LM, who volunteered to watch all three (yes, you read THAT right) bears while I took the car in for its so-many-mile service. When I picked the girls up, she had quite a funny story to tell me:)

LM:
So, NBear looked at me and said "Hi! What's your name?" and I wasn't answering her right away because I was busy with something else...

Me:
Yeah? (eager to hear more) *note - I was pretty sad :( that NBear didn't remember her name! This was not the first time they had been at her house, nor was it the first time they'd met.*

LM:
Then, she looked at me and started saying... "My...name...is..."

Me:
*Laughing* Oh my gosh - you mean, like she was prompting you?

LM:
*laughing too!* Yeah - it was just so funny how she said it!

Well - good job, NBear! Not only have you shown Mommy that you can ask people for their names, you've also done a wonderful job letting me know that you can also -

tell them HOW
to answer that question. ;)

Bravo!!!

My Repeat-erminator!

(photo courtesy of MBear, who was able to capture her sister's oh-so-hard-habit-to-break: nail-biting!)

NBear has recently discovered that mommy's laptop (which now has a permanent spot on our dinner table) is just as capable of getting internet access downstairs as it was upstairs. Welcome to the wireless universe, honey.

Huz and I try to keep her off the computer as much as we can, unless we're in the room with her to monitor her web-surfing know-how. Boy, does that girl know how to surf!

Her favorite site happens to be Youtube, where she entertains herself endlessly with scenes from her favorite Pixar film (Toy Story) or Elmo dvds. Yup, she can go from the desktop to Youtube by Google-ing (Huz has it on his favorites list) the words "Toy Story" or "Elmo" (or anything else for that matter. I know I said I'd be so happy if she ever learned how to spell -but....*sigh*). Needless to say, not all the videos or sites are appropriate, and when she happens upon those, I experience rare moments when I am actually happy that she doesn't ask questions!

Like when I took her to work one weekend and she put my computer's sound on full blast - I found myself listening to a very explicit version of a Woody and Buzz scene. Let's just say... words that rhymed with muckin' and fit were among those being uttered. Poor NBear. I'm sure she was wondering why mommy ran to the computer like a lunatic, furiously waving the mouse's cursor on the screen in a desperate search for the "Escape" button. *note to self: must tell IT person for district about blocking that despicable site!*

She also loves to repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat..*whew* (you get the picture) AND repeat those online videos. Am I right to call this her visual stim, or is that a characteristic across the board? If she's left alone, I'm sure she can keep at it for hours and hours. :(

I suppose this is why Huz and I would rather see her watch TV (yes, I said it!) than be on the computer OR watch a dvd - which also gets rewound like crazy. The obvious reason? She cannot control how the story/show/commercial will run its course! She may change the channel, sure, but it's still miles better than hearing "Hello Elmo" 50 times in a row. Groan.

I am so tempted to buy her her OWN digital camera. That should keep her occupied. ;)

Cheese, Mommy!

I wouldn't be surprised if one day, NBear won a Pulitzer prize for her amazing photographs!

She never really took an interest in mommy's digital camera before, until she figured out how to actually TAKE a picture. (not with my help, I may add) After that, I'd often discover that my camera would be missing from its usual spot, and when I'd finally find it and turn it on, there would be a ton of random photos - some you have already seen in my posts! *lol*

The days of being jealous because other kids could take their parents' pictures (my 4 year-old goddaughter "A" took a great many pics of her mommy and daddy - A and C - while we were hotel-hopping in Vegas), are gone! I mean, sure - she has to work on her angle and distance so we don't look like fleas on the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but I'll take it.

Before, Huz and I were always baffled at how difficult it was to get her to look at the camera screen, realize that it was a reflection of the scene she was looking at, and take a picture. But, it was. You thought it was tough to get her to look at the camera when she was the subject? Being on the other side of the camera proved to be an even greater challenge!

That is, until today.

Enjoy some more of her exhibits below :)

Incriminating evidence that MommyBear is a slave to the Starbucks franchise.

MBear - her favorite subject and muse. (That is, if they're not embroiled in a fighting match likened only to that you see in a UFC event!)

I'm sure she'd name this one "Pretty Doorknob".
(Notice the exquisite way she was able to capture the light's reflection on the dull brass. Breathtaking.)

Gotta love the Wonderpets!

...and these "Upside Down Show" guys. :)

The end. For now.

Before I begin a post that is long overdue, I really would love to thank the readers and dear friends I have out there! It's neat how people come up to you and say "I read your blog! It's very interesting - I have a friend who has kids with autism..." (that was from little sister Val *hug*), or when people you haven't even met, make their chat status read "Gotta love the Cinderella Rain and Dancing Bananas" and your heart explodes (that was for robot number BF3L:RCPB - you know who you are!) Little comments and awareness-moments like these really do give me the confirmation that I am of help...or rather, my NBear is :) So, I do thank you all so very much! And now, we begin.....

Carolyn's holiday blog break was certainly nothing compared to this recent insane hiatus of mine (more like a hibernation, if you ask me!), but I'm so glad I'm back (and you're still here).

You are, right?...hello?......anyone out there?....

We made a very difficult decision after the new year hit: Nbear would have to stop her biomeds program, just until we could get back on our feet again. *sob* The Huz was the first to bring it up, which was a LOT ironic, being he was the force du jour in this entire scenario. Needless to say, the times are not on our side -- nor that of the entire nation's!

So, with a heavy heart, we agreed to use up the last of the B-12 shots, the glutathione ointment, and continue to give her the supplements until they too were gone. (Of course he made it VERY clear that this was just a "break", and nothing more!) So, I braced myself for an extreme regression period, or - heaven forbid - the devastation of seeing all of our hard work (and hard-earned money) go down the drain in the form of losing NBear's progress completely!

I have to admit, without the daily schedule of supplements and measuring spoons and watching the clock, and write that down to remind us that we already gave it to her this morning, and today is shot day will she stay still and so on and so forth, I immediately noticed the very first change -- but it wasn't with NBear.

My husband's stress level had taken a wonderful, almost Olympic-level dive. :) All the months of biomeds and DAN! protocols had certainly taken their toll (though we certainly don't regret any of it), and it was nice to see the "ease" seep back into his eyes. It made me - yet again - aware of how lucky other parents were, not having to go through what we in the A-club world go through. And oh! How wonderful it was to just have to take the AFP tablets with us, and be free of the arsenal NBear usually had to have: to not have to pack her meds when we anticipated staying late at a get-together (though we still have to pack some of her gfcf food) was heaven.

Did she change?
Honestly, I'd have to give the dreaded two-fold answer.

Yes: She has been Ms. Defiant these past few weeks, but has taken an interest in rollerskating, thanks to the Christmas present from daddy. I'm not sure if her frustration lies in the fact that the 2-week Christmas break didn't offer her much of a "fun" schedule (that would be mom's fault), or if she's at an age where she's just more aware of...well, not wanting to follow orders. Isn't that puberty, though? *ugh*

No: Other than the aforementioned, however, she is still my very verbal, very playful, very social NBear. Sure the language still needs work, but she has still retained what we saw her gain. I love watching her play, play, play with MBear. She does get her silly moments (and that's when I remember Dr. Mielke's warning about yeast overgrowth, and have to warn myself to calm down, and just enjoy the laughing spell for what it is) and I am warmed.

I have a feeling - despite what our nation faces in these dreary times - that the best...
is yet...
to come. :)

Happy new year!