without you...

My husband listened to my rant about NBear's increasingly "un-NBear-like" behavior and said, "It will get worse before it gets better". How much WORSE? Will she be ripping doors off their hinges next? Screaming at the top of her lungs like she did when she was two? Running crazy laps in the living room for no reason? (hence "crazy") Crying until our home feels like a flooded Florida beach house? I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think, but I do know what to feel: powerless. (By the way, the prescription meds she recently started - see pic in the previous post - is a milder form of the anti-viral drug VALTREX!)

It's times like these that help me remember the one sure-fire way to "liven up". It's a simple exercise that reminds you to celebrate your child, and the everyday gifts they give to you. I hope you'll join me. Follow the directions below! *teacher mode kicking in...has summer ended already???*

1) in your head, complete this sentence:
Without (name of child), I wouldn't _____________.

2) write your sentence as a comment if you wish!

3) for those of you who have more than one child (like me) feel free to write (or think of) a sentence for each one!

4) last - put an asterisk (*) by the name of your child(ren) if he or she is a special needs individual:)

Here's my list. Enjoy:

-- Without *NBear, I wouldn't have known what it felt like to have my heart grow so much, it's become too big for my chest. :)

-- Without MBear, I wouldn't have known that duets (on the car ride home) can be extremely stress-relieving, especially when the better voice belongs to the one riding in the car seat. :)

-- Without SBear, I wouldn't have believed that "calm babies" really DID exist, and are capable of smiling for hours on end! :)

what the heck is hapenning here?

My NBear seems to have turned into the Tasmanian Devil.

Where is the calm girl we had no problems with when we went shopping? We took the entire herd to shop for a dress (for mommy - there's a wedding on Saturday!), and NBear acted like a child who had ingested 2 packs of chocolate-covered coffee beans! She was sooo not calm. I mean, sure - she was also talking up a storm, using great sentences, and had great eye contact, but all that also came with GREAT (uncontrolled) ENERGY!

Yes, of course the Huz also noticed. The poor guy took her grocery shopping today and came home looking like he crawled out of the bowels of a tornado. Perhaps the recent addition of these guys (pictured below) to NBear's program had something to do with it?:

Dear me. I guess I was in a daze when Acyclovir was discussed between the Huz and Dr. Mielke. I actually AGREED to this? *lol* It's used for herpes! And - did you see all the side effects? No wonder why! *groan* I vaguely remember that he wanted to try an anti-viral program on NBear BEFORE chelation, but the doc was quite reluctant to do so. (Something about NBear's immune deficiency not being up to par until after chelation, but in the end Huz was able to convince her to at least try this "switch" with NBear.) So, hello Acyclovir.

These two were also H-man's idea. He spoke to Dr. M about introducing these, and got her "ok" beforehand. I know some readers (like my new friend) have concerns about starting Virastop, but really all I've seen so far is (I'm afraid to say) ADHD-like behavior, confused behavior at times, and yes - defiant behavior. EVERYTHING is a NO. *granted, I love the sentences, but still:

"No! I don't want to go to school! No! My turn for the computer! No! I don't want to take a shower! No! No! NO!"

Oh - we've also noticed a frequent need to fidget with things - our faces, her father's ears (she had stopped doing that for a while), her clothes, to name a few. Seems like her sense of touch is heightened or something??? *sigh*

Hubby thinks it's the die-off from the Virastop. (he said I could quote him on that, so there.)

I'm just hoping it's temporary...................no matter what it is.

p.s. Dear Cult of Recovery - we are also (as shown in photo) adding OLE to this new deal. :) Nice to know we're in this fight together!

S-words

To date, I am still sans suppositories and sanity. (the latter not being too much of a shock)
Called the pharmacy (love them) and it seems there was some sort of misunderstanding:

*Yes, a prescription for chelation suppositories. Dr. Mielke said she would call it in on Wednesday. [it was now Saturday]*

No, I'm sorry. We haven't received the call yet.

*Wha-?? Really?*

Really.

*Oh. [perplexed pause here] Oh. So I guess I have to call her office...?*

Yes, I would do that! I'm so sorry. (said hurriedly, but with a cheery voice, nonetheless)

...and that marked the end of the conversation. Oh well - it will just put us back a weekend, I suppose. I'm not exactly looking forward to this "experience" anyway. *shrug*

In other news, I gave NBear an MB-12 shot (for the first time) on Saturday. Call it the need for adventure. The Huz took SBear to her "gin-as-tick" class and before they left, I nonchalantly asked him if he had already administered the shot. No, not yet. I smiled to myself as the wheels in my head began to sputter and whir, and asked him if I could do it. His head snapped up when he looked at me. If..you...want to? That was all the push I needed. :)

I soon realized I needed more of a shove than a push.

For starters, NBear was already AWAKE. Huz always did it when she was asleep. (Except one other time, and when the memories of THAT event came back to me, I wondered why I ever decided to volunteer for this) In that memory, we asked NBear to lay on her tummy on the couch. Her constant whining and turning to see the oncoming needle was enough to cause us to heave sighs of defeat. Huz got it in, though, and that was that.

But that was HIM. Calm, patient, easy-going, and STRONGER than me. Enter me (think on-edge mommy with wailing 7-month old at her hip) and it no longer becomes a pretty picture.

me: Come on, NBear - time for "owie" butt, ok? *still wonder why it was an utter success at the get-go?*

NB: No! No owie butt, no!

me: It will be very fast! Very fast! Just lie down he...

NB: No lie down here, no! I don't want to lie down...I don't want owie!

(to read the dialogue in its entirety, simply re-read the above a hundred more times)

Thank goodness I don't have a fear of needles. I do have a fear of accidentally BENDING needles when the subject of your "poke" turns into the human jumping bean.

The bottom line (pun intended here) *lol* is that I DID IT! yes.

When H and Sbear came home, I managed to make everything look like a piece of cake. You gave it already? I thought you were going to wait for me? I waited for the air of confidence to fog the entire kitchen before I replied. "Nah - I managed to do it!"

I know he saw right through me. He managed a smile, though!

another appt, another round

Saw Dr. Mielke yesterday afternoon, and the DMSA test we gave NBear a while back was not as successful as she had hoped. Are you kidding me? All that pee collection for THIS? She said something like, "It didn't show a big 'pull'", which basically means it didn't do a good job of extracting a large amount of the metal toxins in NBear's body. *feel free to gasp for air here*

So now what?

"I'd like to do the test again."

I felt the color drain from my face. Sure, the Huz mentioned that NBear had thrown up a little bit during the testing period (I swear, it was just a little - I personally feel she didn't lose any of the DMSA's effect) which then led to Dr. Mielke's concern that some of the meds must have come out, thus affecting the level of chelation.

"You mean...you want us to give her the tablets again? Where would we be right now if the test results showed a good pull?"

She said we'd be looking at scheduling a chelation program for NBear, according to what our financial situation was. So you mean you also have a program for "broker-than-broke"?

I'm sorry, but I wasn't happy with this appointment at all. I know, I know - Dr. Mielke doesn't write up the test results herself, but something just irked me about how all this was being handled. First of all, if the kid THREW UP because of the tablets, why would you want to try that route again? I didn't have the heart to see her go through that, even if it was just a tad. Second, I was not about to shell out major bucks for another follow-up appointment just to hear the same thing! So...I did what i thought was best.

I suggested we try another route.
Suppositories.
Yes, suppositories.

Poor NBear, but I just need to know that another route will be better, even if this is a bit invasive. Our other choice would be via I.V., and to be quite honest, I wouldn't have a problem with that either. But our kid and our wallets sure would...

Those stupid metals. If I could, I'd pull an "Inner Space" move and vacuum them out myself.

As always, wish us luck.

*If there are any parents out there who have tried this with their kid - I need you!*

other things...

Checked off MommyBear's "To-Do" list:

*forget to give NBear one dose of glutathione lotion AND Probiotics, and regret it for the rest of the trip :(
*share NBear's biomedical treatment with a stranger at Disneyland (You know, Jenny McCarthy's book?) - Smile and get even more excited when she mentions that she too is a teacher, and shares a concern for parents who are afraid to exit the world of denial!
*give NBear a few AFP tablets - we know she may be exposed to foods with a certain amount of gluten in them
*try to maintain composure when the kids tear the hotel room apart
*be creative when writing a comment card for the hotel

snippets (did I spell that right?)

These were checked off NBear's "To-Do" list:

* pack Woody and Jessie (and later find the absolute BEST Jessie cowgirl hat ever!!!)

* go with Daddy to get the Disability pass from the Disney City Hall

* enjoy my favorite rides (carousel, Dumbo, Snow White, Casey Jr. , Pooh- to name a few)

* try out new ones (Haunted Mansion, Toontown roller coaster, Indiana Jones)

* tell Mommy that I NEVER want to ride Pirates of the Carribean or the Haunted Mansion again! (she was sad because she loves both)

*do not be upset when we can't ride "It's A Small World": when something is closed because they want to 'improve' it, that's actually a good thing!

* take pictures with the infamous Mouse!

* give Minnie Mouse a hug (and make sure MBear gets to hug her too, even if it's just her leg)

*enjoy the fireworks without "shutting down" *yes!* (cover ears, though)

*watch Fantasmic -- I'm glad I saw Woody and Buzz during the finale, as it took a lot of my fear away. Darn loud noises!

*explore California Adventures (day 2)

*hang out with Auntie CP and Uncle AP

*scream in delight as our Sun Wheel gondola rocked back and forth (and wonder why everyone else on it seemed petrified with fear)

* watch Playhouse Disney Live on stage and not care if I sing louder than the cast members themselves (added note: Mbear was a total killjoy, refusing to even dance! Must tell her to have fun and let loose next time.)

*ride new rides (Toy Story, Monsters Inc., Ariel's carousel, Sun Wheel, Bug's Land rides)

*get angry at the fact that the Pixar parade included being squirted with water! (how can I be able to focus on Woody and Jessie if they have water pistols pointing at us?)

*go on Soarin' Over California TWICE! (and absolutely LOVE it!)

*get Daddy to convince me that getting even WETTER on that rapids ride would be considered "fun" (glad mommy packed those extra clothes!)

*go back to the hotel for a night swim...and watch the fireworks (again) from the pool!

*smile and thank God for another wonderful - actually, for an even BETTER - summer trip!

...must...get....energy...

hello friends.

we have returned from the land of a million dreams (at least that's what the celebration is this year - I'm still incredibly jealous of the family that WON the one-night stay in the park's suite. Those buttheads!).
the huz is passed out on the couch. I doubt he'll be waking up anytime this month.
NBear and MBear - who enjoyed the long car nap - are bouncing off the walls in the next room.
SBear is carefully exploring the carpet she has not seen in three days. I could have sworn I left that chewed-up, saliva-drenched toy here...

Et moi?

...I am just stopping by to say that I am alive. not kicking, but still alive.

I will be my chipper self soon, I'm sure, and set this keyboard ablaze with tales of NBear's adventures this weekend.

But until then....does anyone know where the nearest pit stop is???zzzzzzzzzzzz.........

I want Disney-waynd, pwease! (Not without a PASS!)

Oh boy. Wish us luck.

We will dare yet again to conquer the happiest place on earth (and California Adventures) with the three bears this weekend. Two bears was already a bit of a challenge last year - factor in the extra weight I had to carry when I was with child, and it adds up to an experience you hope to never have to repeat. *lol*

Nah...actually, we had a great time! Our fears of having to go through one of NBear's tantrums while in an hour-long queue, were quickly quelled when a friend of mine (thanks a million, JA!) suggested that we go to the Disneyland City Hall, and ask for a Disability Pass for NBear.

Yes! Disney considers autism a condition that is worthy of a "go-to-the-front-of-the-line" pass! How wonderful is that? :) That small ticket was the true magic for NBear that day. Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!

We were able to ride almost everything in record time, which was great because it didn't give her the chance to realize how hot it was! This was before her biomeds program, when everything was still pretty much like walking on eggshells and fearing the worst! Her communication and social skills weren't as "developed" back then as they are now.

Sure, she still had her moments - like when she covered her ears for the first parts of the rides (I loved how she kept one hand on an ear while the other shot lasers at aliens - can you name that ride?) , and when she lost it for a good 10 minutes while watching the firework finale. (That was tough! She tried running away, crying, hands shoving down on her ears. We almost had to sit on her to calm her down. Not a happy memory at all, but at least it was at the end of the day!)

When it was over, her smile returned and she said "Aaaallll Done!" *sigh*

...If your heart is in your dream,

No request is too extreme.

When you wish upon a star,

As dreamers do.....

that day at church

I figure, I'm never going to free myself from this recurring nightmare if I don't (finally) write it down. Thanks, Mrs. C. Nice to know we're not the only ones with this particular struggle.

My friends and family have heard this story at least once, I know. Yeah...I hate it too, but here it goes:

During my summer breaks, I try my best to go to daily mass at our church. Two years ago, while still pregnant with MBear, I decided to celebrate mass (with NBear) in the actual church building with the rest of the congregation- rather than in the crying room. Besides, she had been behaving very nicely for the past few days...so why not?

We walked in, sat down, and listened to the usual (lackluster) music and (monotonal) readings that define the daily Catholic mass. *waiting for the lightning to strike* I made sure we were seated as close to the exit as possible, should NBear's behavior deem the need to plunge back into the crying-room aquarium.

What happened next was incredibly insane. NBear walked up to the "big-bowl-thing-that-holds-the-holy-water", touched its intricate wood carving, and then came back to me. She did this about two more times, not making a sound, not running...and she was always in arm's reach. Which was why - when "woman-who-would-rue-this-day-forever" appeared, I was beyond shock.

I recognized her immediately not because I knew her, but because she had glanced in our direction earlier, from the OTHER SIDE (right, we were on the left) of the church! She walked over to us, and I was utterly speechless when she made a bee-line for my unsuspecting NBear, pointed a scrawny finger at her face and said something like "[You need to] Stop running!" If I was angry then, I turned unbelievably LIVID when NBear walked back toward her chair, doubled over, and put her head on the seat in pure surrender. Ms. WWWRTDF walked away like a triumphant George W. Bush after a presidential debate. Yup, there is no such thing.

As I rubbed NBear's back (she refused to pick her head up) and waited for the final blessing, my hands were shaking. My blood was pounding through my veins like a train gone wild. Ms. Crazy also didn't know that the pregnancy hormones my body now contained, were on fire. I was literally a moving inferno. Like a stalker gone mad, I had watched her as she walked up to receive holy communion (LIGHTNING? Hello?), and never took my eyes off of her so I knew exactly where she sat.

And she sat right next to two visiting Vietnamese nuns.

Ask me if I cared.

With NBear clutching tightly to my sweating hand, I found my way to her little entourage and gave.it.to.her. The memories of my exact words have been diminished over time, but the look on her face (and the nuns') hasn't.

I remember saying that I didn't appreciate what she had done to my child, that my child had autism and did she even know what that was? You know, I come to church everyday to pray that she gets better! Everyday I ask that He make her better. She wasn't even running! How dare you? I would've taken her out if she was running! Do you know what she did after you came to her? She put her head down on her chair and wouldn't look at me! *hands pointing furiously in all directions* Are you saying I should never take her to church, then? [No, I'm not saying that!] Well, you MIGHT AS WELL, after what you did to her! You know what, though? I'm actually GLAD you don't understand {I was too angry to explain that I was glad she didn't have any autistic children} - I would never expect you to understand what I'm going through, anyway! That's all I wanted to say!

I walked my shaky legs back to the car, realizing too late that NBear had turned around to say a meek "Bye!" to Ms. Crazy. She SO did not deserve that.

It was the first real all-out cry I had "performed" without an audience. Unless you consider a dashboard, windshield, and a confused doe-eyed angel an audience.

meeting Mrs. C.

Friends of NBear (Carolyn and LAA, I hope you're reading!): just thought I'd introduce you to Mrs. C - mother of 6 (yes, SIX!), three of whom are on the autistic spectrum *I hope I got that right:) *. She also homeschools two of her angels.

I loved how I was able to relate to a lot of her posts. The following, from her blog, should be evidence of the fact that even A-Club members need a laugh! We all do. Thanks for the humor, Mrs. C. LOL!

(If you're not familiar with the original Serenity Prayer, I suggest you read it first - otherwise, you won't appreciate what follows. Trust me:)

*note: the words "Senility Prayer" and "Madame Monet" are links*

Senility Prayer
From Madame Monet:

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never cared for, the luck to run into those I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Welcome to our A-Club! :)

teeth and tape

My big girl NBear is losing her teeth.

In the first pic (taken last week) she smiled willingly, proud and beaming to show off how her "broken tooth" finally wiggled itself out of its gummy castle.

The second pic, however...(taken last night) was taken after a bout of screaming and utter devastation over losing yet another tooth. Alright, alright - so Huz decided it would be a good idea to yank the loose guy out with handy-dandy dental floss, and NBear was fine with it - until (of course) she realized there was no way to put it back. Make that - put them both back.

NBear: No tooth out! NOOOOOO! *holding both teeth (which H-man saved - hopefully for the tooth fairy and not to make a necklace with) in her fingers, shoving them both into their original gum sockets*

Huz: You can't put them back!...Okay, then - you want some tape? *chuckling to himself* I scowled at him for being so mean!

NBear: Tape, please! *still crying*

In the end, we both tried to convince her that the best was yet to come - that included taking a multitude of pics of her new tooth emerging into the great wide open! (told you I love puns). But sadly, that didn't reassure her at all :( She covered herself up with the comforter, repeating her "No tooth out!" mantra a few more times. I felt so bad when she peeked out a few minutes later, her cheeks wet with the tears she cried.

That did it. I read not one - but THREE bedtime stories to ease her pain. For me, that's a record. I made sure my "reader mode" was extra funny and expressive (which was a little difficult to do when sister MBear was always trying to correct my "mistakes" - No Mommy, that's HIPPO, not RHINO! fyi: it was a Hippo...but who's got the energry to argue with a 2 year-old at 9pm? Not I, said the mommy.)

Her giggles and laughter eventually became the magic serum for sleep.

at the pyoo-ter!

Thought this was cute...

H-man was busy doing his daily "check-ups" at the computer (looking through his autism message boards and emails), and little SBear found the information absolutely fascinating! :)

Perhaps someone can help with a caption?

waking up

On a recent trip to Wal-Mart (everyone's favorite, I know), Huz and I were going crazy trying to calm NBear down. It wasn't that we had to sit on her to try to control her, nor was it a tantrum thing. It was just.....odd for us to see her this way.

The girl wanted everything Wal-Mart had to offer. Eh.Vry.Thing. I want fish. I want toys. Oh wow - look at THAT Mommy! Mommy - Daddy, I want dvd. Look! It's Jenga! I want princess. I want princess car. I want bathing suit. Look at that bathing suit! Daddy? Wow! It's Diego and Doooooraaaaaa! I want hat. Look at that cowgirl hat. Cowgirl hat, pleeeaasse? I want cowgirl hat.

Everytime we said NO, she'd present a new case - stronger than the last one. With more words. Now part of why I wasn't going completely bonkers was the obvious: didn't I wish for this to happen one day anyway? Didn't I beg and bleed for the moment when she would react to stores the way "typical" kids would? Wasn't this something we had both been yearning for? Dr. Mielke had mentioned a moment of "awakening" - when the biomeds were doing their job. She warned that NBear would possibly experience a moment(s) when she would become more aware of her surroundings, and it would come across like a mad sugar rush. You're telling me.

And then, in the middle of my train of thoughts, it happened.

She caught sight of the cast of the Wonder Pets, in stuffed-animal form, and fixated on Tuck. (Did I mention she loves marine animals?) Oh boy. If you thought it was hard to take chewing gum out of your hair (yes, I speak from experience), NBear's immediate attachment to Tuck made that look like a walk in the park!

Oh wow! Wooonnder Pets! It's Tuck! And Linny, and MingMing! I want Tuck. Tuck is a turtle. I want cape. NBear is superhero! Mommy, Daddy - I want Tuck pwweeeaaaase. (that's the summarized version - otherwise, it'd take the rest of this post's text space). Every time we tried to distract her, she'd be nice enough to pay attention for a minute, and then say, "Tuck, please. Wonder Pets."

It didn't end there.

One day later: Mommy, I want car please. I want Walmart. Tuck! Wonder Pets please!

Two days later: (see above)
...then, on the third day, the Huz came home with these:

She lined them up for me when I told her I was going to take their picture. I laughed when I realized that she had placed them in the order they were mentioned in the theme song:

Linny, Tuck, and MingMing too! We're Wonder Pets and we'll help youuuuuuu!

for the Huz....just because :)

Red Le Creuset pan - $120.00

(whaaat? for a PAN???..says the non-cooker)

Kitchen Tongs - $10.00

(I'm guessing....?)

Organic chicken from Nob Hill - $ 7.00

(sounds like a lucky number, anyway)

Coming home from a Hula session last night to a yummy, gluten-free, casein-free, everything but delicious-free chicken dinner........

(Come on, you know what to say.....) :)

No T.V. talk!

My two new blog-world pals (Hi LAA and Carolyn!) have inspired me to discuss something very common in our A-Club world: scripting.

NBear was the queen of scripting! We had many moments where she'd have one-way conversations with us and simply recite the entire "Finding Nemo" dialogue. If she exhausted that movie, she'd move on to "Elmo's World" episodes - ALL of them.

Scripting is extremely odd, in that (at least in my experience) the child seems to know the "taking turn" rule of conversing, but not the "needing-to-be engaged-in-the-discussion" rule. Here's an example of how I remember some of our conversations with her:

Me: Hi, NBear!

NBear: Look at all the animals in the zooooo!!!

Me: Are you hungry?

NBear: What do you think, Dorothy? Should Elmo go to the zoo?

...you get the picture. Huz found a neat solution to this problem: the words "No TV Talk!" (interesting how the link for scripting has "No movie talk" in it - we thought we were the only ingenious ones! *LOL*)

If you thought it ended there, she was also the queen of BE KIND, REWIND. When she was into VHS tapes, all you'd hear was the constant whir of the tape machine as she repeated the same frame over, and over, and over again. It got even worse with the ease of DVD players:

*whirring noise*
Hi, I'm Elmo!

*whirring noise*

Hi, I'm Elmo!

*whirring noise*

Hi, I'm Elmo!

(that was the VHS)

(enter the DVD player)

*half-second pause*

This is my goldfish, Dorothy!

*half-second pause*

This is my goldfish, Dorothy!

*half-second pause*

This is my goldfish, Dorothy!

*For a similar "entertaining" segment, check out Jenny's Louder Than Words page 122:)*

Mind you, it took the fear of God to prevent the Huz and me from hurling the entire entertainment center out the window. (Plus the fact that I wasn't exactly American Gladiator material, and he wasn't willing to let go of the then-new TV we bought.)

I'm very happy to say that to date, though she still loves repeating shows, she will at least (for the most part) wait until the entire segment is over, before enjoying it for the ump-teenth time.

Oh. She's also great at using something else now:

Me: *singing* La-la-la-la...La-la-la-la...Elmo's woooorrrlld!

NBear: Mommy?

Me: Yes, sweetie?

NBear: *stern voice* NO T.V. TALK!

Mommy Bear the Teacher

During one of my treasure hunts for blogs that discuss autism, I found Cafe Autism. One particular post (Why is the shopping list a secret?) hit me hard. In a nutshell, she describes her frustration in trying to get a school supply list for her child, who is an ESE [Exceptional Student Education] student. *Because schools nationwide seem to have an acronym competition going on, ESE translates to SDC [Special Day Class] in my 'hood. FYI*

I suggested she go right ahead and purchase items from the regular school list (who not?). I refuse to have anyone else become as reluctant as I once was, and end up doubting their child's capabilities, as I once did. How awful is that, huh? For shame! (Although this parent was definitely not one to back down! Yeah!)

I remember looking at the school list when NBear was younger and thinking to myself: "Scissors? SCISSORS? She can't even hold them the right way! Why would she need them now?" ...and a few months after I thought that atrocious thought, she brought home a bunch of cut-out shapes (I didn't even care at that point if her circle looked more like a chewed-up rag than the shape it was meant to depict) and handed them to me with her chubby fingers.

This part - the school part - is a battle fought on both fronts: YOURS (the parent), and THEIRS (the child). Unlike the other battles we fight for our children, this is perhaps the hardest because we have to leave them on the battlefield for some time, to fend for themselves. OF COURSE it's not the same for "normal" children. {note: the Huz just walked in and added, "I think the correct term for 'normal', is 'typical'} Those kids can actually tell when they're being hurt or insulted or teased...and (even better) can TELL their parents exactly what happened to them at school.

At this point, my NBear can tell us (she's doing so well trying to put her sentences together!) that she'd scraped her knee on the playground, but that's about it...for now. :)

Keep fighting, and know there are many (like me!) fighting alongside you.

*If you think the whole school supply list was bad, try purchasing a yearbook for your child, only to open it up and see that her entire SDC class had no names to go with their pictures. I've even heard stories of some schools not including their SDC classes in the books at all. :( I ranted and raved to my other co-teachers about the whole thing. Ugh.*

This is why homeschooling is not always a bad idea.

....if you have Mother Theresa's patience and aren't susceptible to cabin fever and claustrophobia, that is. (sound familiar, friends?)

You Go!

This woman is the BEST.

Meet Dr. Leony Go, from the Fremont branch of Kaiser Permanente.

She has been my childrens' ONLY pediatrician. She is not only caring and easy to talk to about normal issues, but provides a TON of support when it comes to working together with Dr. Mielke for NBear's benefit.

I received a phone call from her the other day to discuss the most recent test Dr. M. requested, and she was all ears about how the whole DAN! experience was going. (So tell me again what DAN! stands for? I'd like to try to understand as much as I can.) Of course, like I do, she worries about chelation therapy. In the end however, her wonderful words were, "As long as you feel you are doing what's best!" :)

Need you ask if I'd totally recommend her for any other A-Club members?

for Carolyn and Tim

Dear friends of Charlie,

Mommy read your post about Tim falling in love with the video camera, so she decided to give it a try:

It certainly took me a while to understand what she meant when she said, "Follow mommy with the camera, honey! Follow Mommy!" Did she really have to hop around like a bunny on hot stones? I mean, I WAS following her - with my own eyes. Then it occurred to me - I could SEE her on this contraption's screen! There you are, Mommy :) The neat thing was, I didn't need to look through an eye lens to see her. Mind you, I did try - I shut one eye and kept the other one open, but as I placed the open one on the black object on the camera's rear, Mommy told me that it was something called a battery. Weird.

It was still a bit hard for me to focus, and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she was digging deep in her cranium for other ways to get me to understand. (She has been a bit sad today...I wish I knew why. Thought I heard something about a passing...) So, as Mommy always does before she decides to call it a day, she let out a huge sigh and tried hopping around again.

And this time, though very slowly, I moved the camera in her direction...and kept her on that screen. :) *sigh* I'll need more practice, though.

Thanks for the inspiration!

Love,

NBear :)

AFP Tablets

During our last meeting, Dr. Mielke gave us these tablets for NBear - being that her allergic reaction to gluten was higher than what the Doc had expected.

They're chewable, so easy for my "I-can-swallow-capsules-now-anyway" big girl to take. (try saying THAT 5 times in a row!) :)

They're nice to have, considering any possibility that she may ingest any type of gluten or casein. They also came at a perfect time, because we were planning our summer destinations: Monterey (*check!) and Disneyland in Anaheim. (Thought I'd add the city in, lest you thought we were insane enough to bring all three munchkins to Florida!)

She took two tablets after Monterey because we didn't pack her her usual gluten-free lunch (I had to endure the Huz's evil eyes because it was my suggestion that we try to survive without it). Fortunately, the cafe had hot dog and french fries available. Sans bun, of course. Still, we were being overly cautious.

It's just nice to know that these pills - and this website! - exist.

Pass it on!

The pic!

YEAH! It worked!
This was the pic that was supposed to go with yesterday's post.

Here she is, front and center, at the Bat Ray touch pool (see it approaching in the background?).

I wasn't in the mood to touch wet, moving portobello mushrooms (as Huz described them), so I passed. Gross.

on my never-to-do-list

Never again will I convince myself that going to the Monterey Bay Aquarium LATER than noon is a good idea. I mean NEVER.

NBear loves anything and everything that has to do with marine life, so of course MBA would be her heaven (or at least one of them - but I'm not into the whole reincarnation thing, so cancel that thought). In light of that, we make an effort to do a yearly pilgrimage to this world-famous aquarium universe.

We definitely paid the price for our late arrival. It was so crowded at the base of all the aquarium exhibits, that only Yao Ming would've gotten a good look at their fishy residents. *Hmph* Maybe not even him! The way everyone was jockeying for a spot, you would've thought Brad and Angelina were doing the feeding shows! One area even had people sitting on the floor in front of the tall Plexiglas - and something told me it was not because they were in awe of the wonders of the Kelp forest. Perhaps a peaceful surrender?

I didn't feel bad for my NBear, though. She was such an expert at weaving herself in and out of adult legs and bodies, getting to the glass was no problemo! Well, as they say in life - survival of the fittest.

I was going to add a pic at the Bat Ray touch pool, but I can't seem to upload any pics right now - a message pops up that says there's an INTERNAL ERROR. I tried other pics, and the result was the same.

Hmmm....perhaps it's blogspot's internal error and not my computer's? Could this possibly (more like hopefully) have anything to do with the whole SPAM mistake they made recently? I was good today and actually read the message on the dashboard.

Help.

enter my silver lining for today

Forget about Shark Vacs and missing adapters!

This evening, when I was preparing to give NBear her meds, I dared to try what only her father had previously attempted: getting her to SWALLOW the caplets.

After a few tries with the trace mineral cap (she'd follow me and place it on the back of her tongue, but when she'd take a swig of her water I could see her tongue move the pill precariously to the right side of her mouth) I decided it was time for some visual and vocal help. (That, plus the poor capsule was getting battered and bruised in there - it was flat by the time she realized what needed to be done.)

Me: NBear.....you need to swallow the water, then aaaaallllll gooooonnnneee!

NBear: *confused look*

Me: *opening mouth wide* *gurgling sound* Cuuuuhhhhheeeeeee? Aaannnngggg Goooonnng!

NBear: *looking in my mouth*

Me: Okay, NBear - you have to swallow the water, and then no more medicine in your mouth, ok? All gone!

NBear: *swallows the water, and then opens her mouth to show that it is.....empty.* :)

What ensues is a crazy mother giving her daughter enough high-fives to last a lifetime. I'd say I gave her more than the number of fans Miley Cyrus has.

Plus, I threw in a bowl of Rice Dream ice cream.

Just because.

OH. Almost forgot - I won't be giving her any more of the large ZEN tablets to take in pill form, though. The poor bear was on a roll when she unfortunately gagged on that one. It took several gulps of H20 and a few extra moments of praise to get her to trust me again. *oops* It's a good thing she has perseverance.

I love you, NBear.

me

*this is a MommyBear entry - read on if you don't mind a detour from NBear's adventures!*

Did I ever mention that I used to blame myself for NBear's love of lining things up? Of course, I had no idea at the time that it was an autistic trait - and I'm glad it's just about disappeared - but I do remember talking with my mom about how my extreme obsession with order (OCD?) may have rubbed off on my offspring.

Alas, I have to deal with the fact that I continue to be insane that way. The sad part is that NBear doesn't hold a candle to how much order means to me. (Believe me, A Club members know how tough the kids can be!) Here's today's example, enumerated:

1) Wanted to vacuum an area of the kitchen carpet, and decided to use the Shark vac the Huz bought for Xmas. It's light, it's cool...it's the one!

2) Vacuumed for a minute or two before the Shark bit the dust. (yup-pun here) Oh darn, should have charged it since December! My fault. It's a good thing I know EXACTLY where I put that charger! *smiling to myself*

3) Looked in I-swear-I-put-it-here drawer, and....it was not there.

4) Looked in perhaps-I-put-it-here-instead drawer and...it was NOT THERE.

5) Took a look in the I-know-I-absolutely-did-not-put-in-in-here-but-who-knows drawer, and...IT WAS NOT FREAKIN' THERE EITHER!

6) Called the Huz to ask if he had seen it, and tried to control my temper. Really. Tried. Hard.

7) Breathed. Took a few more breaths after that. Stared at the now-defunct Shark Vac lying limp on the carpet. Tried not to cry.

8) Tried even harder not to cry (I don't deal well with utter frustration). Called every store I could think of, and they said even though they did carry the VAC, they didn't carry the adapter.

9) See # 7

10) Screamed to myself in my head, and surrendered to the fact that I would have to order one online. I hate this. I really, really, hate this.

~ thanks for lasting with me as long as you have, my friends :)